“Most of us go through this phase when we don’t know what the next step is or how to find our purpose. I have been struggling with that for most of my life. As a child I enjoyed English, reading and writing but as I got older I was pressured to take math and science classes.
A lot of that pressure came from my father who comes from a generation that didn’t have the luxury of choosing their own paths. My grandparents were not well-off and my father studied hard and became an engineer, more out of necessity than anything else. I looked up to my father too much to disappoint him but doing what he wanted was making me miserable. One day I was struggling to do my chemistry homework and realized I couldn’t see myself doing this for the rest of my life. I decided right then to follow my passions and find a way to make a living from that. I remember shaking as I wrote my father an email and telling him that I wanted to choose my own subjects.
I wrote that I would make my own decisions and live with the consequences instead of doing what he wanted and resenting him later. He responded much better than I expected and he finally understood that we wanted very different things. I think that’s the day he let go of the daughter he wanted and started to accept the daughter he had. Our relationship really changed for the better after that.
I’m glad I wrote that email. Because since then I have had so many interesting jobs like teaching English in Japan, babysitting and volunteering. I am currently working as a writer and producer and although I still don’t know what I’ll be doing in 5-10 years, every experience has been a valuable opportunity to learn and grow.
For those who are going through a similar situation with their parents, my advice is to talk to them like adults. I think we sometimes forget that our parents were once young and also struggled to find their place in the world. Just like us, they are flawed and human, and just trying to do their best. I am really lucky that both of my parents support my dreams and I hope I make them proud by doing what I love.”
-Kunzang P.C Tshering
